hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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