i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
