I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
