So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.