the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.