It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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