he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
