So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
