Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
