I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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