I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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