I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
