and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize