But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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