god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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