I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
