My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
