Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ximjstmeexjennyb hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(260): View more from Indiana

i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

Fav 22 948 6137
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.

Fav 45 8022 1084
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

Fav 1 3103 1278
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired

Fav 18 4412 2061
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.

Fav 3 1341 810
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

Fav 21 875 2291
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea

(214): View more from Texas

WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO

Fav 2 2052 749
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.

Fav 0 51 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(251): View more from Alabama

Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn

Fav 0 12 66
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT