there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
