She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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