let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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