i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
