Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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