Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out