I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.