go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
