I will die if light touches me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
But break dance skills will only take you so far
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
