I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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