roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
