i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
