This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
