dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
