If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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