I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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