plz talk dirty to me
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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