Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
