I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He felt like a one man threesome
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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