I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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