the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
