he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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