Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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