proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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