Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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