3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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