I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
