I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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