I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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