He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
