Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
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My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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