i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Drunk is not a location!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
