If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
