Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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