so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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