i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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