Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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