Already got asked if we're dating
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
