Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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